My Father's a Lavatory Cleaner

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Another of those somewhat risque campfire songs so greatly enjoyed and sung with great gusto by the less sensitive souls out there!

(You might want to / need to censor or refine some of the verses according to your audience.)

Please don't read any further if you are of nervous disposition!

My father's a lavatory cleaner,
He works all day long in the pit
And when he comes home in the evening
He's covered all over with sh.....

... ine all your buttons with Brasso,
It's only three ha'pence a tin!
You can buy it or nick it from Woolies
But that's if they've got any in!

Now some say he died of a fever
And some say he died of a fit,
But I know what my father died of:
He died of the smell of the sh......

... ine all your buttons with Brasso... etc

Now some say he's buried in gravel
And some say he's buried in grit,
But I know where my father's buried:
He's buried in six feet of sh ......

... ine all your buttons with Brasso, etc....

And some say he left me a fortune,
Whilst some say he left me a bit,
But I know what my father left me:
He left me a bucket of sh........
... ine all your buttons with Brasso,
It's only three ha'pence a tin!
You can buy it or nick it from Woolies
But that's if they've got any in!