My Reindeer Flies Backwards

To the tune of Elgar's Pomp and Circumstance Mrch - "Land of Hope and Glory"

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My reindeer flies backwards, she's better than yours.
My reindeer can cha-cha; she can open up doors.
My reindeer is purple; yours is bright pea green.
My reindeer's a Girl Guide; she can dig a latrine.

My reindeer wears p-jays, yours sleeps in the nude,
My reindeer has manners; your reindeer is crude.
Your reindeer uses fire starters, mine uses only one match,
Your reindeer gets chilly; mine wears a scarf and hat.

My reindeer wears a raincoat; your reindeer gets wet.
My reindeer is healthy, yours goes to the vet.
My reindeer flies backwards, yours flies upside down.
My reindeer is perfect; your reindeer is dead!